I was looking through some more old pictures when I found a picture of Charlie nursing in the hospital shortly after Aggie was born
I dont know if you can see exactly how happy I am right here, but trust me, it is deep and radiating.
I will go through the whole chain of events later, as I am able to but in short; the first day that Charlie came to visit us in hospital, he seemed a little distant and shook his head when I offered that he could nurse. He told me "no she can have it". I cried so hard and if I'm honest I resented Aggie's presence a little. I know she is going to read this, I loved her of course but there was something lost in the fact that Charlie had turned from nursing with her arrival
The following day, our dear, dear friends brought him back to the hospital again and he refused to nurse again and my heart stopped. Aggie had come early and everything had been such a blur, Charlie was going to wean himself being away from me, staying with our friends and with the introduction of Aggie. I had a new baby to nurse, but I wasn't prepared for the deep sense of mourning that him stopping (and so suddenly) was going to cause.
Matt doesn't understand extended nursing, I honestly think he thought I'd stop around 6 months or maybe a year and he has admitted that he finds it odd to watch Charlie nurse at close to 3years old. But this is something very important about my husband; he knows how important it is to me and that his perspective is heavily influenced by upbringing and culture. He is as ALWAYS, the most supportive partner in everything I do. I heard him talk to Charlie and in he came, he curled up into my hospital bed and began to nurse. My heart soared. Our adventure wasn't over and Aggie's arrival was the start of a new and beautiful era in our lives, not the end of one.
And that friends is where our adventure in tandem nursing started. I know siblings are so often close, but Aggie is now 3months old and I am truly amazed and so, so humbled daily by just how close Charlie is to her and how gentle, understanding and loving he is towards her. I truly believe this is enhanced by their nursing together and I am so glad that we have been able to continue.
Charlie turns three in 3 months and I don't know how much longer he will nurse, I don't know when he's a 30year old man, how he will feel about me nursing him for so long but I know he can never say he wasn't loved and cherished by us. I hope he knows that from my point of view I am giving him a special gift and I hope he cherishes the bond we share just as I do.
I don't know what you would like to know about our journey. But I am happy to share it, I hope someone will read this and it will give them the confidence they need to breastfeed even their first child, for three months or three years and through a pregnancy or not, an only child or tenth. Indeed if you can't breastfeed, I hope someone will take something about nurturing the life you bought into this world with formula and a bottle.... Being a mother is about the love you feel for your child
